Why Being “Too A lot” Is the Secret to Higher Relationships & Much less Stress

Increase your hand in case you’ve ever been instructed you’re “an excessive amount of.” Too loud. Too emotional. Too passionate. Too bold. Too… you.

For lots of girls, that’s the cue to start out shrinking. We tone down our voice, dim our fiery nature, and sand down the sharp, lovely edges that make us who we’re—all within the determined hope of being accepted. We study to censor our jokes, disguise our massive goals, and put a lid on our emotions as a result of we’re afraid our real selves will likely be rejected.

However right here’s the tough-love, liberating fact: the fixed effort to make your self smaller is exhausting … AND it’s additionally the #1 motive you’re feeling so drained and caught in less-than-stellar relationships.

Leaning into your genuine self and proudly proudly owning your “too much-ness” is definitely your secret weapon. It’s the one strategy to construct the high-quality connections you deserve—and at last dial down your stress for good.

The Drawback With Shrinking Your self

Continually enhancing your self to be extra palatable is a one-way ticket to burnout. On prime of holding again the true you, you’re expending a large quantity of psychological and emotional power to take action.

Each time you chunk your tongue, fake a joke was funnier than it was, or swallow your true emotions, you’re making a withdrawal out of your treasured power reserves.

This creates a quiet, insidious type of stress that lives simply beneath the floor, leaving you anxious and unfulfilled—even while you’re surrounded by individuals.

The reality? You’re basically in a relationship with a model of you that doesn’t even exist, and the individuals round you’re responding to that pretend model. That, my buddy, is a recipe for deep loneliness.

Your “Too A lot-ness” Is a Relationship Filter

Once you cease apologizing to your enthusiasm, ardour, or massive, typically messy emotions, one thing unbelievable occurs: you begin attracting your soulmate relationships.

Friendships

This implies discovering soul-sisters who don’t simply tolerate your wild concepts—they’re those who say, “YES! And what if we did this subsequent?!” They cheer to your ambition as an alternative of seeing it as a risk. These friendships go deeper than surface-level chatter since you’re totally seen and understood with out judgment.

Partnerships

In love, this implies discovering a associate who celebrates your quirks and loves you for the individual you’re—not the individual you fake to be. The appropriate associate will encourage your boldest goals and by no means ask you to shrink for his or her consolation. (Bonus: they’ll match your bizarre.)

Communities

In your bigger neighborhood, it means surrounding your self with individuals who get it. Whether or not it’s your exercise group, e book membership, or an internet area, you’ll discover circles the place your concepts are met with curiosity and pleasure, not well mannered nods and fast topic modifications.

Once you present up as your full, unapologetic self, you’re sending a transparent sign: That is who I’m. Take it or go away it. And the individuals who take it? They’re your individuals. Those who go away? They had been by no means meant for you anyway—and also you simply saved your self a ton of wasted time and power.

Why Proudly owning Your Genuine Self Reduces Stress

Embracing your “too much-ness” can also be probably the most highly effective types of self-care. It’s a direct path to much less stress and extra peace.

Once you’re not policing each phrase you say or emotion you’re feeling, you unencumber huge quantities of psychological bandwidth.

• As an alternative of agonizing over whether or not you must ship your buddy that nerdy article you really liked—you simply ship it, they usually get excited too.

• As an alternative of hiding your massive enterprise concept—you share it, and instantly the suitable connection seems.

• As an alternative of swallowing your frustration in a relationship—you talk your wants, and your associate rises to satisfy you.

That is what dwelling authentically looks like. It’s radical self-trust—and it not solely strengthens your relationships, it strengthens your relationship with your self.

Cease Shrinking, Begin Thriving

Being “an excessive amount of” will not be a flaw—it’s proof that you’ve got a robust gentle to share with the world. Hiding it solely creates extra stress and loneliness.

Your distinctive mix of enthusiasm, empathy, and ambition is the very factor that may entice your individuals.

So cease shrinking. Begin shining. And watch each your relationships and your peace of thoughts flourish.

What’s one a part of your self you’ve been holding again that you just’re able to lastly share with the world? – Alex

Desire a Protected House to Be Totally You?

For those who’re prepared to satisfy your soul household TODAY and begin working towards full expression in a protected teaching area, my Unfuckwittable Membership is the right place. There’s even a whole module on this very matter—so you may apply it in actual life and really feel grounded when you do it. Learn more and join our powerful community here.